I am rewriting the damn thing. See you on the other side.

I often reflect on this decision to make a website. It is in my mind all the time, it never left. Each glance on it, each thought, each idea seems to spark a glimp of inspiration. A bit of hope. Yet, I never delivered even a fraction of what I promised to myself I would. Yet, the fact that I keep paying for the hosting and a domain explains a lot of things that are happening in my subconsciousness. This is no longer about lack of skill. This is about the willing. The dedication, the psychology. How can the dedication fade as long as the motivation's fed?

"It is in thy power continuously to fan these thoughts into a flame." - as Marcus Aurelius once said, completely unrelated to the topic, yet, suitable in the current circumstance. I may try just that.

I feel really mixed right now. It feels like there is no progress being made at all, like I'm constantly running on a treadmill with a piece of cake attached to a wall in front of me. The more issues I fix, the more of them appear on the same spot.

Yeah yeah I do remember saying that I'm making progress. I actually do. Although, the amount of dullness I receive after fixing something just to encounter another incompatibility or fatal issue that requires another rewrite of a whole thing... This is just too much. What I truly get the joy from is making the lore. Molding the world, connecting bits and pieces together, creating gameplay mechanics and innovating in some sorts. And all I do for the past months is redo-ing everything. I am overwhelmed and I don't know what to do by now. I never took any courses, never made any side projects, never had a proper education and my whole childhood was told that in order to achieve something I have to do what others do and nothing more.

Perhaps, this was a bit too much to handle and I underestimated the amount of work required to shape the whole website. There is just too much things to think of, from secure login system and proper layout of the elements on every browser and device, to color palettes and downscaling images when they appear small on screen. My workflow, my approach, my patience and focus, they are completely screwed and I need something to do with all of them. When I'll figure them out, it'll be announced here, in the news (diary) feed.

I am finally doing some steps towards improvement. Right now I rewrite every function there is to use AJAX instead of endless redirections. The flexibility of this method will be much more supperior, this will be the perfect approach for the web app like this.

Also I'm trying to sprinkle tiny bits of lore here and there. I have tons of ideas in that regard, most of them are inspired by many media pieces. It will not be a total plagiarism though, I will try my best to make the world as unique and atmospheric as possible. I want to turn this game into truly masochistic experience. Many of the big gameplay parts and mechanics will not be even accessible by the majority because of that. Even finally earning just 100 dollars must feel like a huge milestone achievement.

you think i was joking in the previous post?

I shall include ChatGPT in the credits after the next update. The amount of help I got from this guy is absolutely insane. Fake coder like me has to be absolutely grateful for such convenience, available for free. Well, the only thing I pay is my data and private information, and who cares about these, am I right?